Saturday, 4 November 2017

I have lived and I have died



There are things we can no longer do, words which can no longer be said. They may be muttered in private but never spoken aloud. Some things can no longer exist, they can no longer be dreamt or imagined, they are not even ghosts. 
There are things we can no longer do. Such is life.

If you walk East with the sun in your eyes, there is a place where the water meets the shore, colliding in a pale stretch of foam, as it swells across the rocks.
I won’t tell you where this place is, you’d have to find it for yourself but the things that happened here are strange and difficult to remember.

I am selfish and I am introverted - it is because of this that I must remember to be kind. It takes practice, but it can be achieved and it can become instinctive.
There is a joy in kindness, it can transform. It can be triggered by hurt and it can heal.
We must above all things love ourself, but we must also remember to be kind.

If you walk East with the sun in your eyes, you may find a place where the water meets the shore and perhaps strange things will find you if you go there, perhaps those things will be difficult to remember.
On some days you may drown there, on others you may be wounded, cut, burnt or disgraced. On some days you will never recover.  There will be a few times though - rare moments, when you will survive and in surviving you will become something akin to that place.  As wild as water and as free as the notions that guide us.

It is on those days that I hope to find you and see that place again.